080309 John 11:1-44 "Come Forth Everyone" by Pastor Ron Smith

Yesterday afternoon a long time member of this church and friend to many of us died. We are grieving Coach Nip Posey’s passing and our grief is similar to feelings we share with those in the gospel lesson today. Lazarus was probably not as old as Nip or as young as the 22-year-old Jim Long who died Thursday before he could make another regular visit at our 301 Dance club.
I believe one of the reasons why God’s lesson surrounding the death, burial and resurrection of Lazarus is so important is to show how Jesus overcomes our grief with truth, patience, redemption, joy and His ruling Lordship.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through during a serious loss: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance. And Jesus demonstrates how each one of us can chose to deal with our own grief by accepting His truth to combat denial, His patience to combat anger, His redemption to combat our bargaining, His joy to combat our depression and sadness, and His ruling Lordship to conquer our feeble acceptance to circumstances of death and disease.
Martha was acting out her denial when she sent for Jesus and just waited – so as to passively expect Lazarus to get better. She kept calling for Jesus to come and bring him back. Some people act out their denial by withdrawing from their usual social contacts. This could last a few days or even the rest of their life. Martha and Mary didn’t do that. Other mourners continued to remind them of their loss and they stayed with their grief without getting stuck in their denial.
Martha and then later Mary showed their anger toward Jesus when each of them first confronted Jesus with, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died “(11:21, 32). They didn’t stay in this accusatory anger for long, though. Mary and Martha may have been furious at Jesus for not responding when they sent for Him to come. But Jesus didn’t inflict the pain by His absence. They were hurt because their brother was dying and was now dead. As an attorney I saw many people stuck in this stage at least until a murderer was brought to justice or a settlement for wrongful death or serious injury was obtained. But anger is not really controlled by “who did it.” This world is full of bad things that happen to good people. We can keep asking God, “why me” or “why now” or “why did this have to happen, when we had so much to hope for”? But realistically, there are no clear answers to most of these questions and many times nothing could have stopped what caused our great loss and pain.
Martha moved on to the Bargaining stage of grief when she said, “And even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you” (11:22). Conversion experiences like Paul’s on the road to Damascus and Abraham almost sacrificing Isaac were bargaining stages of grief that said, "God - if I do this, will You take away my loss?" The other Jews expected a bargain from Jesus when they said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” (11:37). Perhaps some of you are still bargaining with God to do something special for you like He did for someone else. Jesus our Redeemer settled all bargains. He paid the price forever.
Mary and some of her friends apparently skipped over the bargaining stage with Jesus. They remained numb with deep sadness and a hidden smoldering emotional mass of anger, guilt and loss. “Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled; and he said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Lord, come and see." Jesus wept. So the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" (34-36)
Acceptance - to the world is “giving up” and “weak resignation.” But Acceptance in Jesus Christ is filled with abundant hope. The worldly sciences say that “time will heal all wounds” and our grief that produces anger, sadness and mourning will taper off. Then we are supposed to simply accept the reality of our loss. But Jesus asks Martha and each one of us, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" Those who obeyed Jesus and "took away the stone" (v. 41a) acted in faith so that our Lord and Savior could do the rest.
Let us join Jesus in His prayer before the tomb of His friend by praying through our grief.
Dear Heavenly Father, You are the One to Whom Jesus looked up and we repeat His prayer, 'Father, I thank you for having heard me. I know that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing and sitting here, so that they may believe that You sent Jesus to call Lazarus and each one of us to come out of our graves! Some of us have been in our emotional tombs of grief for more than four days. Some of us have gone on before us and await for the trumpet to sound and Jesus to call us up for His last judgment. We confess our dead grief and ask for Your fulfilled promises that can only come from Jesus Christ. Give us His truth to combat denial, His patience to combat anger, His redemption to combat our bargaining, His joy to combat our depression and sadness, and His ruling Lordship to concur our feeble acceptance to circumstances of death and disease. Our eyes of faith see our rising from the dead with wonder and not with horror. Unbind each one of us and let us go to You in the name of Jesus Christ who says, "Yes, I come quickly." Amen! Yes, come, Lord Jesus. Amen!