070601 Friday Focus with Judy Keegan "Responding to Conflict Biblically"

Judy Keegan is the Director of the Alabama Center for Dispute Resolution of the Supreme Court of Alabama. Her office is one block from Dexter church.

Judy’s message is very appropriately entitled "Responding to Conflict Biblically" developed by Peacemaker® Ministries www.HisPeace.org. The following is the text from the power point presentation:

Where two or three come together in Jesus’ name ...
… there will eventually be conflict.

A difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.


Causes of conflict include ...
• Misunderstandings
• Differences in values, goals ...
• Competition over resources
• Sinful attitudes and desires


Staying on Top of Conflict
A biblical theology for conflict resolution...
• Glorify God
• Get the log out of your own eye
• Go and show your brother his fault
• Go and be reconciled


Conflict provides opportunities...
• Glorify God
• Serve other people
• Grow to be like Christ

First G represents "Glorify God"
“What do I need to do to glorify God at all times wile I am dealing with this conflict? ”


Second G stands for "Get the log out of your eye."
“How have I contributed to this conflict and what do I need to do to resolve it?”
Two kinds of logs to remove...
• A critical, negative attitude
• Actual sinful words and actions

Philippians Attitude Check-up
• Rejoice in the Lord always
• Let your gentleness be evident
• Replace anxiety with prayer
• See things as they really are
• Practice what you’ve learned


The Seven A’s of Confession
• Address everyone involved
• Avoid if, but, and maybe
• Admit specifically
• Apologize
• Accept the consequences
• Alter your behavior
• Ask for forgiveness


Third G stands for "Go and show your brother his fault."
“How can I help others to understand how they have contributed to this conflict?”


Staying on Top of Conflict requires . . .
The PAUSE Principle
• Prepare
• Affirm Relationships
• Understand Interests
• Search for creative solutions
• Evaluate options objectively and reasonably


Understand Interests
• Issue - an identifiable question
• Position - a desired outcome
• Interest - what motivates people
• Successful negotiation occurs when parties negotiate on the interest level


Dealing with Unreasonable People
• We have divine weapons
• Control your tongue
• Seek Godly advisors
• Keep doing what is right
• Recognize your limits
• The ultimate weapon: love
• Protects you from your own bitterness
• Bring the other person to repentance


The Fourth G is "Go and be reconciled."
The operative question is ...
“How can I demonstrate forgiveness and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?”
Christians are the most forgiven people in the world ...
Therefore, shouldn’t we be the most forgiving people in the world?
Forgiveness is not …
• A feeling
• Forgetting
• Excusing

Forgiveness is a decision to make four promises
• I will not think about this incident
• I will not bring this incident up and use it against you
• I will not talk to others about this incident
• I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship
Forgiveness means we must renounce sinful attitudes and expectations:
• Expecting the offender to earn or deserve our forgiveness
• Desiring to punish the offender
• Demanding a guarantee that this won’t occur again


Practicing the Replacement Principle:
• In thought
• In word
• In deed
Do not merely listen to the word
• Focus on improving one or two peacemaking skills
• Commit to reconcile with one or two people
• Memorize key Bible passages
• Teach peacemaking (Philemon 6)
• Pursue Conciliator Training

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God. - Matthew 5:9